polygyny

[eriqbenel]

I am looking for a single woman to ask a question

You have both Debbie and I here; ask away! Though, I kind of think I know what question you are wanting to ask.

By any chance, is it something like "would you want to be in a polygamous marriage?"?
I've been asked that before, SO maybe that could be the question.

Hugs & Shalom!
Adrianne ~

BTW, here is a link to the The Polygamy Sourcebook
It was done by a good friend and brother of mine.[/url]

Close Adrianne... but my question is

If there was a man that was married and wanted you to be his second wife; You sensed that the first wife was a little reluctant and jealous, but was willing to deal with it because... whatever.... how would you approach the relationship with the first wife?

[Debbie]

Eriq,
It seems you are assuming I have been hurt, anti-man, marriage, whatever ! I think we'll leave the orders of telling the ladies to give me a hug, that option to them.
Not all women desire marriage Eriq. This is something some men think. Some women does not need a man to succeed in their lives, and does not desire marriage. And then theres women who readily look forward to being a wife and living a full happy life.
I travel all across the USA and minister to women, and have been doing this for 20 years. I have met woman from all walks of life, and have shared their fears, tears, and questions of why their marriages have failed, why their husbands cheated on them or walked out on them. And then,I meet women all the time also,who are 100 % happy in their marriage and love their husbands dearly.
And this is wonderful. Praise Yahuah.
But my friend, I am a very independent woman, and I don't need a man for any reason to make me any happier then I am today. I have one covering, and that is Yahshua.
Did true girl power have your question pegged right ? Seems she did.

[chosen]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((debbie)))))))))))))))))))))))))

there you go, debbie!

enjoy,

chosen

[eriqbenel]

Eriq,
It seems you are assuming I have been hurt, anti-man, marriage, whatever ! I think we'll leave the orders of telling the ladies to give me a hug, that option to them.
Not all women desire marriage Eriq. This is something some men think. Some women does not need a man to succeed in their lives, and does not desire marriage. And then theres women who readily look forward to being a wife and living a full happy life.

My apologies Debbie... I didn't mean to insult you.

But I will point out that women were not created to "not need a man".

"And Elohim said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."

"For this cause gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:..."

"But I would have you know, that the head of every man is the Messiah; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of the Messiah is YHWH" .

"For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of YHWH : but the woman is the glory of the man."


In addition, even if women are unmarried or widowed, they don't usually "throw it in the face" of others about their desire NOT to have or need a man unless there is some underlying bitterness and/or pain. So if men believe and/or assume that women want to be married, it is because that's how YHWH designed it in nature. It is not a wrong belief to have.

I travel all across the USA and minister to women, and have been doing this for 20 years. I have met woman from all walks of life, and have shared their fears, tears, and questions of why their marriages have failed, why their husbands cheated on them or walked out on them. And then,I meet women all the time also,who are 100 % happy in their marriage and love their husbands dearly.
And this is wonderful. Praise Yahuah.
But my friend, I am a very independent woman, and I don't need a man for any reason to make me any happier then I am today. I have one covering, and that is Yahshua.

The women who have have failed marriages could be due to bad husbands OR because of their own behavior.

It is good that you are happy and content in your current state. The Scriptures compel us to be so:

"And having food and raiment let us be therewith content."

"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."


Nevertheless, women were created for a purpose. That purpose is "FOR MAN". Your current happiness and contentment is not BECAUSE you don't have a man, rather it should be because you have chosen to be content in Messiah as you are.

So by all means, be content, but an "independent woman" is not a cause to boast; and a woman alone certainly shouldn't suggest that she couldn't be just as happy or happier in a YHWH sanctioned marriage.

I'm not trying to give any insight to you personally, sister. This is what I believe the Scriptures teach regarding the natural order of things for all men and women.

Did true girl power have your question pegged right ? Seems she did.

She was close...

[kickme]

wow, eriqbenel
did you major in psychology or something?
I've never seen someone read so much into what somebody says.

[eriqbenel]

wow, eriqbenel
did you major in psychology or something?
I've never seen someone read so much into what somebody says.

And how do you feel about that? Tell me about your childhood, were you always nosey?

[TrueGirlPower]

Close Adrianne... but my question is

If there was a man that was married and wanted you to be his second wife; You sensed that the first wife was a little reluctant and jealous, but was willing to deal with it because... whatever.... how would you approach the relationship with the first wife?

Oh My... Well, to be quite honest with you, I am in that situation now.

A fellow brother wants me to become his second wife; his wife is VERY apposed to it, for that mater, his wife is not a believer but a Catholic. I love and care for him very much. He is a man of YHWH and I know he would be a proper "head" for me. His wife certainly complicates things because she is not a believer, and I know that really hurts him. Right now she HATES me; she does not understand polygamy. She, like most of us has been taught that if a man so much as looks at another woman, he is an adulterer; as we all now know is a pile of baloney .

Things between him and I are now up in the air, but we are opening the lines of communication again. Only Yah will will be done between him and I and him and his wife.

Getting to your question.
I'd like to start a friendship with her, even before the marriage. I do believe the husband would need to sit down with both of us and "lay the law down". He needs to tell us what nights we get with him, what responsibilities we all need to have, and well, prayer, LOTS of prayer.

Truth is, taking on a second, third, forth, etc wife is the husband's decision. As long as he can provide (money, sex, love, housing, food, clothing etc) for each wife and child they have, there is no problem. And as his wife (1st, 2nd or whatever) I will except that.

That doesn't mean things wont be hard, but I think all parties have to come together, talk things out, and first and for most need to come together in prayer. Pray for each other, pray for the good of the family, and pray that whatever bitterness, hostility, and or jealousy there may be in my or any of the wives hearts, pray that Yah will remove that from us. Truth is, we are family. The wives have a special bond between them; they are their husbands wives! That is not something that every woman has. They have the opportunity to love and please their husband as a whole, they have the opportunity to raise their children together, united. No child is lonely, they will have many brothers and sisters and a WHOLE bunch of parents who love them SO MUCH.

I know some things will be hard, but honestly, I get existed just thinking about it.

Shalom and hugs!
Adrianne ~

[eriqbenel]

Close Adrianne... but my question is

If there was a man that was married and wanted you to be his second wife; You sensed that the first wife was a little reluctant and jealous, but was willing to deal with it because... whatever.... how would you approach the relationship with the first wife?

Oh My... Well, to be quite honest with you, I am in that situation now.

A fellow brother wants me to become his second wife; his wife is VERY apposed to it, for that mater, his wife is not a believer but a Catholic. I love and care for him very much. He is a man of YHWH and I know he would be a proper "head" for me. His wife certainly complicates things because she is not a believer, and I know that really hurts him. Right now she HATES me; she does not understand polygamy. She, like most of us has been taught that if a man so much as looks at another woman, he is an adulterer; as we all now know is a pile of baloney .

Things between him and I are now up in the air, but we are opening the lines of communication again. Only Yah will will be done between him and I and him and his wife.

Getting to your question.
I'd like to start a friendship with her, even before the marriage. I do believe the husband would need to sit down with both of us and "lay the law down". He needs to tell us what nights we get with him, what responsibilities we all need to have, and well, prayer, LOTS of prayer.

Truth is, taking on a second, third, forth, etc wife is the husband's decision. As long as he can provide (money, sex, love, housing, food, clothing etc) for each wife and child they have, there is no problem. And as his wife (1st, 2nd or whatever) I will except that.

That doesn't mean things wont be hard, but I think all parties have to come together, talk things out, and first and for most need to come together in prayer. Pray for each other, pray for the good of the family, and pray that whatever bitterness, hostility, and or jealousy there may be in my or any of the wives hearts, pray that Yah will remove that from us. Truth is, we are family. The wives have a special bond between them; they are their husbands wives! That is not something that every woman has. They have the opportunity to love and please their husband as a whole, they have the opportunity to raise their children together, united. No child is lonely, they will have many brothers and sisters and a WHOLE bunch of parents who love them SO MUCH.

I know some things will be hard, but honestly, I get existed just thinking about it.

Shalom and hugs!
Adrianne ~

Second question:

I was discussing this post with some of the brothers, we'd like to know if we can take a blood sample. We want to make an "antidote" for women everywhere!

Debbie gets the first injection. just kidding Debbie.....

[chosen]

"We want to make an "antidote" for women everywhere!"

and antidote for what, so we can be more like men???

NO Thank you!

just kidding, i know what you mean.

i for one don't think polygyny is wrong, i just don't know if it's right for me.

shalom,

chosen

[Chayil_Ishshah]

Shalom,

I also, don't think polygamy is wrong. I also think it is meant for some and not for others.

i.e. Abraham - poly
Isaac - mono
Ya'acob - poly

I also believe it is a heart issue. I know for myself that Yahuah is working on my heart. Not to "prepare me for the inevitable" but rather, is my heart pliable enough, strong enough in Messiah, right in His eyes to accept such?

To be released from certain mind-sets and 'feelings' and 'fears'. I think is the point He is working with me.

I will admit a 'fear spirit' was trying to use this very issue to drive me from my loving husband and a dear friend of mine. That is absolutely ridiculous for me to fall into such a trap, but because of past hurts and fears it had legal ground to try it. Well, it has since been taken captive to the obedience of Messiah and He is working with me.

I thank Him immensely for the wonderful husband He has given me and our (Abba, husband, wife) agreed monogamous relationship.

~chayil

[eriqbenel]

"We want to make an "antidote" for women everywhere!"

and antidote for what, so we can be more like men???

NO Thank you!

just kidding, i know what you mean.

i for one don't think polygyny is wrong, i just don't know if it's right for me.

shalom,

chosen

I know what you mean... Most of us have never seen it successfully done living in this society. We don't know what to expect or how to approach it. There is an element of fear associated with the very idea.


Some may think that if it acceptable in our society, all men would want to do this, but believe me. Polygyny is not right for many men either!

A lot of men, even in ancient times, are content with one wife. My goal is just to illustrate that having more than one is not a sin...

[kickme]

eggsactly, to each his calling.
Not sure exactly how to work it out when the man is called, but his wife doesn't feel called. And I've yet to hear of a case where a wife prodded the husband to get a second wife when he didn't feel the call, but I'm sure it has happened.
but some are called to be enuchs, some mono, some poly. each should do the best at his calling.

[TrueGirlPower]

Second question:

I was discussing this post with some of the brothers, we'd like to know if we can take a blood sample. We want to make an "antidote" for women everywhere!

Debbie gets the first injection. just kidding Debbie.....

Oooooo ouch. lol
*hides under a rock*

Adrianne ~

[eriqbenel]

Sisters,

Many women believe that if a woman is willing to accept being in a marriage where there is more than one wife, it means she is either in an oppressive culture OR that she has very low self esteem....

What do you think? Is a woman willing to accept polygyny a oppressed or depressed woman?

[chosen]

Eriq asks:

"Is a woman willing to accept polygyny a oppressed or depressed woman?"

guess it depends on the woman. maybe some have more "open" minds that others. i do think woman that are raised in that culture can be more accepting of it.

shalom,

chosen