That most people have is that a house with more than one wife is chaos. I used to believe as much also, however, what I learned is that I was the one in a state of chaos and my mind was placed there at the thought of another lady being in "my" space. But YHWH has prepared me for a possible addition to our home and I find more shalom within than I have ever known before. This can also be said for the families that I know that live poly. There is not a whole bunch of fighting and "control" issues going on. Indeed, we are talking about a place where the women are in deep DEEP submission, not only to YHWH, but also to their husband. When a lady is in this level of submission she is no longer willing to place herself in the "controllers" seat.
This concept is terrifying to many women. The thought of sharing their husband is just more than they can bare (BEEN THERE!!! (I raise my hand) . I believe that Eriq made a reference to this. This actually goes back to the times of Zeus and his wives. The goddess Hera (goddess of marriage) was his second wife (and sister) and fought for monogamy (out of jealousy). It is the first place in history that any woman was placed in such an authoritative position to work to decide the fate of all men. Hera desired to be worshiped by Zeus and he was busy most times with other wives, mistresses or rulings that she was not as sought as she would like. Thus it lead to the pounding of the idea of monogamy. Until that point in history women didn't have much at all to say about who their husband married. But with Greek beliefs women were "equal" creatures and could make up their own rules of engagement (which is the case with the order to remain monogamous). It most certainly does stem back to a woman who wanted her man all for herself. And the ruling to remain monogamous does stem back to paganism. It is very interesting to learn the roots of it.
Sharing what I have been blessed with in the last year. This is an emotional issue. I am thankful to have had my emotions put in check as far as this issue is concerned. And I repeat, it is nice to be in a place where I am not viewed as evil for believing in polygyny.
shalom,
Kathy